EMBRACING & PREPARING

It's the night before I fly to Bournemouth. I am currently sat on my bed, slightly exhausted from playing saxophone for the past two hours, and NOT packing. I will be flying to Southampton tomorrow morning and being driven to Bournemouth to stay for the weekend to get to know the area before I move there in September to attend university. The plan is that we shop, we go to wagamama's for dinner, we check out the beaches and we shop some more. On Monday, we will drive back down to Southampton to visit my orthodontist and the following day, I am having an osteotomy surgery on my jaw. I will go into the detail of why exactly I'm having this horrible operation in another blog. But basically that's the gist of it. I will be staying in hospital on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday nights and then flying back to Guernsey on Friday (hopefully! If all goes according to plan... it better).

So as I am having my jaw cracked and re-aligned, there are many things I won't be able to do. The list includes:
- eat
- talk
- laugh
- drink
- clean my teeth (how am I going to manage that one?!)
- do yoga
- wear make-up
- go out in public (let's face it, i'm going to look like a plum)
and
- play my saxophone for around two months (maybe more).

The latter is something I had not really considered an awful lot until tonight. Because of this damn operation, I'm missing my final two jazz gigs with GYJO (Guernsey Youth Jazz Orchestra) so my last time playing in the band was a week ago now. I thought that'd be it... that my saxophone (Sasha, if you will) would be tucked up in her case for many weeks ahead from last Saturday onwards. But tonight, as I was writing a list of things that I need to do before I leave for the UK in the morning, for some reason 'play my saxophone' popped into my head. I can assure you, this thought has never occurred before. There's just something about the saxophone which makes it unappealing to play as a solo instrument at home without accompaniment and without a band. As chords are impossible, it often sounds pretty uninteresting and is uninteresting to play too. But as I would not be able to give Sasha a blow for a very long time, I decided I may as well have one last go at playing the piece that my teacher recommended I start learning. I ended up only having two lessons since buying the piece due to one reason or another, so I'd not really played it that much. I listened to a professional saxophonist play it on YouTube and became rather overwhelmed by how beautiful the piece was and how beautifully he could play. So, frustrated that I knew I wasn't as good, but determined to try to be, I got Sasha out and I played the piece for two hours straight.
Let's just say I'm much better at it than I was earlier this evening.

This is the piece I'm referring to:


Unfortunately, it got to the point where I couldn't stop playing it and was being nagged at to start packing. I even sacrificed watching tonight's ep of Coronation Street to play it. I can't believe I'm saying these words.

Still unpacked, in fact not having even contemplated packing, I have only just managed to bring myself to stop playing my saxophone. Now I'm blogging.
Packing really isn't going to get done is it?

I've just taken a moment to think about how I'm feeling about the week ahead. I don't know whether it's going to be a very short week, or a very long week, a painful one or a 'just grin and bear it' one. For the visit to Bournemouth tomorrow and Sunday, I'm excited. As much as I don't need any more clothes (again, this discussion is for another time) I really cannot wait to shop in some decent shops. Topshop, River Island, Zara, H&M. Yes I call those decent shops - we have none on this island.
Then the actual operation... well the surgery won't be too bad because I'll be knocked out on anaesthetic and I wouldn't say I'm worried about it. I've been under three times in the last sixth months so I guess I feel used to it now. But post-surgery, I think I'll be a frustrated, bored, aching mess. I must try to keep positive though. I've downloaded five books to read on my kindle, I'm going to (eventually) pack Season 1 of Friends -I am going to watch the whole box set from start to finish in the next few weeks- and I'm going to make sure I stay in contact with my dearest friends and family members to get me through.

I suppose I should chuck a few things in my suitcase now. And when I say chuck, I mean chuck...

Namaste x