IT'S OK NOT TO BE OK

This is a blog post I've been meaning to do for a while. At least, it's something that's been almost like a blog post in my head for a while. This weekend has been one of those weekends where life just feels a bit... well, a bit crap, to be honest. It's only after 48 hours of feeling this way that I've come to the conclusion that...
it's okay not to be okay.

I won't bore you with the details of what's been circling in my head and making me feel down, but rather I'll tell you what I have realised, having now reflected on the situation.

Firstly, it's okay. It's okay to feel down for a while. Sometimes we just feel this way, for no reason, and it doesn't have to be anything more than that. The only time to be concerned about feeling this way is if these 'down' feelings are occurring regularly for prolongued periods of time. This happened to me this time last year and it took me several months to realise that I was in fact depressed. But broadly speaking, if you feel down one day, or for a couple of days but then feel fine after that, it is okay not to be okay.

Secondly, staying in bed all day watching endless tv without bothering to shower or dress really does make you feel worse than you felt before. Yesterday, I drifted in and out of sleep until about 12pm and then watched endless episodes of Coronation Street on ITV Player, without moving from my bed. I did this until 4pm, thinking and overthinking, beating myself up about little things, and still did not move from my bed. Just after four o clock, I decided enough was enough and I got up, washed my hair and hoovered my room. I was just sick of feeling so down, so bored and so trapped.

Thirdly (and this is what I discovered next), eating something healthy and refreshing can make such a difference to how you feel. I felt murky and sad and restless, so I chopped up some strawberries, blueberries and a banana and ate a bowl of them. I can't tell you how much better it made me feel in myself to eat something fresh and juicy. I don't even like fruit really, I don't eat it very often at all. But it made me feel so much fresher that I even had some for breakfast this morning, which is pretty much unheard of for me.

Yesterday one of the main adjectives I can use to describe how I was feeling is 'trapped'. Being at university now means I live in a flat in student accommodation and the only places I can chill in are my tiny room or the kitchen. Naturally, I stayed in my tiny room, and I felt lonely and claustrophobic. I was craving a walk, but the only place to walk around here is down to the beach and by the time I'd got up and dressed and ready for the day, the day was coming to an end and it would have got dark almost as soon as I'd stepped out the building. So I stayed put, but vowed to myself to venture out tomorrow. So today, I walked by myself to town listening to my music and breathing in some fresh oxygen, which was great until it started raining.

This post is getting a little long so I'll just round off with this. If you're having one of those days or weeks or weekends where you just feel like everything is gloomy, you have no energy, and you just want to sit and cry, that is fine. But if you don't want to feel this way, you really don't have to. I'm my own worst enemy but this morning I thought to myself, 'I can help myself. I can get myself out of this state'. The mind is a very powerful thing and, most of the time, you actually have a lot of control over it. It all begins and ends in your mind. What you give power to, has power over you. If you want to cheer yourself up, cheer yourself up. If you want to stop feeling sorry for yourself, stop feeling sorry for yourself.

We humans tend to overcomplicate things and put ourselves down. Try the opposite, and I mean really try:
1) Simplify everything and
2) Tell yourself how wonderful you are.

Then get out of bed and start living, with a smile on your beautiful face.

Namaste x

0 comments