You Can Heal Your Life

There was a point last week when I crumbled a little. At the time, it felt like the whole world was collapsing in on me and I was emotional and cranky and empty and more emotional. I couldn't understand what was happening to me, or why.

Eventually I realised that something within me wasn't as good as it could be. There was a flaw somewhere, in the way I was thinking about myself, in the way I was going about my daily life, in the way I was viewing my world.

My wonderful yoga teacher Emma, someone who I've recently learned knows this feeling all too well and did something about it, helped me pull myself together. I knew I needed to take a step in another direction, to make a change in some way, so I asked her if there were any books she could recommend to me. I like books, and reading. They make me feel less alone.

One of her recommendations was 'You Can Heal Your Life' by Louise Hay. I Amazon-searched it, as you do, and when I saw the 4.5/5 star ratings, and read the 548 incredibly inspiring, uplifting and reassuring reviews from others who have read what they now call their 'Bible', I decided it was definitely worth a read.

Now, I'm not a sceptic, and I like to think of myself as an open-minded person, but I didn't for a second think 'this book will change my life'.

But within an hour, I think it already had. Louise's approach is a very simple one - love the self and all will be well in your world. I had never thought about my wellbeing in this way before. Love the self? That's it? But isn't that selfish, and obnoxious, and simplistic?

It didn't take long for her to help me realise that loving the self is none of these things. Loving the self is courageous, difficult (although with practice and effort and belief, very possible) and the solution to all negativity, dis-ease and life's problems (relationships, work, money, family, mental illness etc).

For as long as I can remember, I've put myself down, pushed away compliments, scolded myself when I look in the mirror, told myself repeatedly that I'm too this and too that, been ashamed of myself, wished I could be somebody else, be a better friend and a better sister and a better daughter and a better student, believed that I am not enough.

As of this week, things are starting to change. I know it will take time... months... years... what will feel like an eternity. But I'm coming around to the belief that I can respect myself, that I can praise myself, and that I can swap any criticism of my being, and anything in my life, for a compliment, an appraisal, and joyous thoughts.